Thursday, August 20, 2009

Barf You Out the Backdoor, Gagging You With a Spoon?

The millions of you reading this blog must be waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So far, it's been sunshine and butterflies and giggling babies
riding on the backs of dolphins

and unicorns made of candy.

We must be making you sick!

To avoid putting you in the uncomfortable position of actually wishing us misfortune, I'll do you the favor of complaining a little.

The mosquitoes here are absolutely gluttonous. I mentioned the portion sizes at area restaurants in an earlier post-- well, the mosquitoes expect no different. Seriously. I can't wait for November so I can go outside without rubbing drier sheets all over me first.

And the undergraduates. Parents, why do you pay for your children to live in historic homes you KNOW they're just going to trash? And if you don't know that about them, why not? Is it because you're too busy buying them the biggest SUVs you can find? And waiting for someone else to teach them how to parallel park?

Some dialogue:

20 y/o male neighbor: Yeah, we'll just be getting wasted till school starts.
ME: You go to VCU?
Him: Yeah, I'm in the art department. Ceramics.
JG: Oh. So how 'bout you make an ashtray then, for your porch, and stop throwing cigarette butts all over the sidewalk.

And this:
It's 2:30 in the morning. A shadowy figure (college kid) darts down the alley between our and our neighbor's houses. JG goes out to investigate.
JG: You're not pissing back there are you.
Kid: Man, I'm gonna aim at that house.
JG: No you're not. Fenris!
and then Fenris the savage beast tackles the offensive child and chews his legs off.


  1. Love the ceramics bit. Josh, I hope that your first class treated you well (or do you teach Fridays?) I'm in on T and TR.


  2. Hi Sterling! Don't know if you'll check back here for a reply to your comments, but just in case. Thank you for your thoughtful remarks on my earliest post. Truly.
    I hope you and your family are well. Excited to see you!
    Oh, as for JG's schedule: I know he's teaching Thursdays.